Small and steady wins. These reset every morning.
Name something about who your spouse is, not what they did. Receive it without deflecting.
Small on purpose, so it survives a sick baby and a busy week.
Connection with no problems in it. Phones away.
Out one week, at home the next.
3 to 4 hours, dressed up, somewhere new.
When you both feel ready. A nearby hotel is enough.
Up to plan next:
Thirty minutes, one topic, side by side, something warm to drink. The structure is what keeps it from becoming another fight.
Bring one or two of these to each session and let the counsellor guide the answers. Star the ones for next time.
Love and respect, written as behaviour, so both of you can tell whether it happened.
Andel's side is his to fill in, in his own words.
Jess: laughing together, flirting, dressing up, holding hands, attention that has nothing to do with the business.
The listener reflects back what they heard before answering.